Emotion...or Passion?

So often has the word “emotional” been used in a negative context that it now almost always indicates a weakness or otherwise undesirable trait.

More often, it is women who are criticized – by both men and by other women – for being “too emotional.”

On the contrary, I feel we are lacking emotion, in business and in life. It’s as though we’ve become afraid of expressing ourselves for not wanting to be judged as a blubbering fool or a big old softie.

Arlene Dickinson, CEO of Venture Communications and former star of CBC’s show Dragon’s Den, was interviewed by George Stroumboulopoulous. Her thoughts on emotions?

“I make no excuse for being emotional in business. Business is emotional. If you’re not emotionally engaged with the business you work for or that you’re building, then what the heck are you doing every day? Why are you doing it?”

I argue that I’m not emotional, but rather passionate. There is a fundamental difference. Being emotional is when no matter how you try, you are unable to conceal your feelings, which are usually viewed as negative. Being “emotional” always seems to indicate a socially undesirable behaviour such as crying or shouting. Crying indicates weakness. Shouting indicates a lack of control. It’s sad that we have these ideas as they serve only to deaden our motivation and self-expression.

Passion, on the other hand, means being outrageously committed, believing wholeheartedly, and being prepared to fight for something you believe in. There’s an intensity that comes along with passion. Not everyone demonstrates it in the same way, but many who are fiercely passionate are also very expressive. Why? Probably because their passion spills out of them. I know it does with me.

I was once reprimanded after a heated argument over something I felt was a gross injustice, with a smug reminder, “This is a civilized company.”  I remember the gag in the back of my throat at that ridiculous and demeaning statement .These statements are often made by people who never get excited about anything. To them, passion is scary because they don’t know what to do with all the energy.

Why are we so afraid to emote? 

Have we become so catatonic that we can’t even handle the raised voice of someone who is driven to argue a point with vigor?

I see so many articles that caution women in business against getting too emotional (ex: crying) in the workplace, and advise how to diffuse emotions before continuing a discussion. What’s with all this suppression?

I’m not advocating for everyone to go around the office like raving lunatics or blubbering fools, but surely there is some happy medium. As a passion pundit, I’ve learned you need to be selective with your causes, and direct your passion where it will have the most positive impact.

One day at the office, I was tipped off that one of my project coordinators was crying in the bathroom and probably needed someone to go talk to her. Apparently, she had made a mistake on one of her projects and caused a delay in the production, which would surely upset the client. She was devastated that she had messed up and didn’t know how to fix it. She was further mortified that I, her boss, had just discovered her in her saddest state. “I’m so embarrassed!”

Don’t be, I told her. If you didn’t care about your job and about doing well, you wouldn’t be upset. In fact, if you brushed it off like it was nothing, I would be much more concerned. Don’t worry another minute, we’ll fix this.

Personally, I could go for some spirited discussions and some jumping up and down. I’m not talking about vicious, unprofessional attacking of others. No, I mean sincere passion. 

Paul Alofs does a tremendous job of outlining just how important passion is to the success of a cause, career or company in his book “Passion Capital – The World’s Most Valuable Resource.”  

He articulates exactly the philosophy I have felt intrinsically for years: passion is the catalyst for success. Passion alone won’t drive profits, but it is the foundation for longevity and prosperity.

One thing I’ve learned, however, is that not all organizations believe they need passion in their culture. It seems logical that it would be a valued asset, but it’s not the case for everyone.

I bring passion with me wherever I go, so I need to be sure that I always find a work scenario that appreciates and encourages it.

My tip: If you encounter a colleague who appears to be displaying some heated passion, give them a moment to really express themselves. Remember that this outburst is probably not about you, and is more likely a display of frustration or extreme enthusiasm. 

Find ways to harness that energy in positive, constructive ways.