So often
has the word “emotional” been used in a negative context that it now almost
always indicates a weakness or otherwise undesirable trait.
More often,
it is women who are criticized – by both men and by other women – for being “too
emotional.”
On the
contrary, I feel we are lacking emotion, in business and in life. It’s as
though we’ve become afraid of expressing ourselves for not wanting to be judged
as a blubbering fool or a big old softie.
Arlene
Dickinson, CEO of Venture Communications and former star of CBC’s show Dragon’s Den,
was interviewed by George Stroumboulopoulous. Her thoughts on emotions?
“I make no excuse for being
emotional in business. Business is emotional. If you’re not emotionally engaged
with the business you work for or that you’re building, then what the heck are
you doing every day? Why are you doing it?”
I argue
that I’m not emotional, but rather passionate. There is a fundamental
difference. Being emotional is when no matter how you try, you are unable to
conceal your feelings, which are usually viewed as negative. Being “emotional”
always seems to indicate a socially undesirable behaviour such as crying or
shouting. Crying indicates weakness. Shouting indicates a lack of control. It’s
sad that we have these ideas as they serve only to deaden our motivation and
self-expression.
Passion, on
the other hand, means being outrageously committed, believing wholeheartedly,
and being prepared to fight for something you believe in. There’s an intensity
that comes along with passion. Not everyone demonstrates it in the same way,
but many who are fiercely passionate are also very expressive. Why? Probably
because their passion spills out of them. I know it does with me.
I was once
reprimanded after a heated argument over something I felt was a gross injustice,
with a smug reminder, “This is a civilized company.” I remember the gag in the back of my throat
at that ridiculous and demeaning statement .These statements are often made by
people who never get excited about anything. To them, passion is scary because
they don’t know what to do with all the energy.
Why are we so afraid to emote?
Have we become so catatonic that we
can’t even handle the raised voice of someone who is driven to argue a point
with vigor?
I’m not
advocating for everyone to go around the office like raving lunatics or
blubbering fools, but surely there is some happy medium. As a passion pundit,
I’ve learned you need to be selective with your causes, and direct your passion
where it will have the most positive impact.
One day at
the office, I was tipped off that one of my project coordinators was crying in
the bathroom and probably needed someone to go talk to her. Apparently, she had
made a mistake on one of her projects and caused a delay in the production,
which would surely upset the client. She was devastated that she had messed up
and didn’t know how to fix it. She was further mortified that I, her boss, had
just discovered her in her saddest state. “I’m
so embarrassed!”
Don’t be, I told her. If you didn’t care about your job and about doing well, you wouldn’t be
upset. In fact, if you brushed it off like it was nothing, I would be much more
concerned. Don’t worry another minute, we’ll fix this.
Personally,
I could go for some spirited discussions and some jumping up and down. I’m not
talking about vicious, unprofessional attacking of others. No, I mean sincere
passion.
He articulates exactly the philosophy I have
felt intrinsically for years: passion is the catalyst for success. Passion
alone won’t drive profits, but it is the foundation for longevity and
prosperity.
One thing
I’ve learned, however, is that not all organizations believe they need passion
in their culture. It seems logical that it would be a valued asset, but it’s not
the case for everyone.
I bring
passion with me wherever I go, so I need to be sure that I always find a work
scenario that appreciates and encourages it.
My tip: If you encounter a colleague who
appears to be displaying some heated passion, give them a moment to really
express themselves. Remember that this outburst is probably not about you, and is
more likely a display of frustration or extreme enthusiasm.
Find ways to
harness that energy in positive, constructive ways.