Ring, ring…..hello? Is anybody there?

Photo courtesy of Etsy.com

How has the telephone suffered such a brutal and untimely death? 

When did we suddenly abandon the phone call?

I’ll tell you when.

It was right around the time that texting became free - locally, nationally and internationally.

Don’t get me wrong: I can text with the best of them. I have 3 different language keyboards installed on my cell phone, plus an extensive emoticon library. Because you gotta have a LOT of cartoonish icons to express your true feelings and moods since straight LOLs may not do the trick. Ha!

I feel, however, that we have adopted texting (and before it, emailing) with such a fervor that we have forgotten the importance of live voice-to-voice communication as part of the effective communication mix.  We all have cell phones now but rarely use the actual PHONE part of it.

I have often observed a glazed, deer-in-headlights stare from colleagues of a younger generation when I ask them to make a call to a client or supplier. “Can’t I just email them?” is usually the plea.

(Note: I’m also struggling to get some of my suppliers to pick up the phone. Really, people? Do you want the business or not?)

This is a crisis of communication.

Recently, a female acquaintance sought input on a new dating relationship. She described the problem to me like this:

I Facebook messaged him, and then he messaged back. And then I asked him this question and sent a winky smiley. He hasn’t replied. What do you think that means?! Should I text him again?

Why don’t you just pick up the phone and call the dude? was my stupid question.

Yeah right! Call. How desperate do you think I am?

Were we always this shy and self-effacing, simply waiting for the appropriate tool to come along and absolve us of the misery that verbal communication had forced upon us?

Watch the harsh truth of dating. A.K.A. “He’s never going to call you”, the infamous speech from He’s just not that into you:

Business etiquette

In business, effective communication cannot be underestimated. The particular vehicle of communication we choose to deliver a message is critical to it being received effectively.

Because I began my professional career just as the internet was emerging, telephone and fax communication were still common. My first sales job involved making cold calls to owners and buyers of retail stores. I can say from experience that picking up the phone can be nerve-wracking. But, quite often it yields the best outcome. When successful, orders arrived at the office by fax or courier. 

I still believe phone calls are an importantpart of business for relationship building and management. There are times when it is better to callthan send an email. 

Here are situations in which I still reach for the receiver:

-        When I need to “meet” someone new and a face-to-face is not possible

-        When there is a “problem” or misunderstanding to resolve (and face-to-face is not possible)

-        When I need to ask for a favour (and a face-to-face is really not possible)

-        When the person I’m contacting prefers not to use email or digital technologies

-        When I communicate with my doctor or pharmacy (because they still use phone and fax exclusively!)

Of course, important decisions and details agreed to verbally can always be followed by a confirmation email message.

Don’t forget, though, that your voice can be your most valuable asset, negotiation tool, bridge-builder, and relationship-nurturer. When you speak, speak clearly and with authenticity, and don’t forget to smile when appropriate. Insincerity can be easily detected through the phone.

And most importantly, when someone else calls you, ANSWER your phone!

The bottom line: When it comes to important announcements, big decisions, or difficult topics, it’s best to communicate in person or at the very least, with live voice. If you want to build a positive, meaningful relationship or resolve a problem, put the emoticons aside and express yourself authentically.

Note: Video calls are naturally encouraged as well, when and where technology permits them. 

The Froth on Top

There is much to be said for substance.

A recent dining experience reminded me of this. At the end of the day, no matter how elegantly
adorned or elaborately presented, food is never considered “good” unless the taste is satisfactory or better. Most people will choose substance over form.

My point here is that quite often, in food as in life, the most valuable and substantial components lie beneath the surface. Stripped down of distractions and insulation. Nudo. This concept resonates so much with me that I’ve had to acknowledge its significance in my career.
I’ll come back to this.

On the subject of food, I invoke the image of a perfectly infused cappuccino, topped with steaming, light-as-air foam. This is just one reason I prefer a cappuccino over a latté; I rather enjoy having to make my way through the frothy topping to reach the rich, complex flavour of espresso. And each one is a little different, isn’t it?

This digging through the froth is analogous to my mission, both professionally and personally. Much of what I do is getting to the heart of something; the inspiration of an idea, the inner workings of innovation, and the essence of a person or business. I enjoy telling the story - the unique story - and helping to unveil a truism. This usually involves looking beyond the obvious surface, past the outer wrapping and layers of “fat” to truly understand. You could say I am something of an emotional archaeologist. I think connecting with the authenticity of a person, place or thing is fascinating and exciting.

As such, I find it difficult to thrive in business environments or work with people who aren’t real and talk a lot of blah-blah. Jargon, clichés, acronyms, niceties, and other ‘verbal froth’ don’t impress me much. Authenticity, transparency, and respect are important. Maybe that sets the bar high. And so be it.

I’m always looking for the substance. I’m up for the challenge of de-frothing to uncover what’s meaningful and memorable. Those with the courage and passion to explore beneath the hype inspire me. I hope my life’s work will allow me to fulfill this curiosity.

When Life Hits A 404

I’ve noticed recently that the common reaction when people hear your “bad” news (job loss, divorce, losing a promotion, etc) is one of remorse, empathy and even pity. It is naturally assumed to be a bad thing. Some even go so far as to ask, with wide, poor-you eyes, “What are you going to do?”

Gee, I don’t know, take the gas pipe? Jump off a bridge?

It must be how couples feel when they announce they are getting a divorce. How difficult to face the judgment, humiliation and feelings of failure that others impart with their sad faces and deep breaths. Tragedy! How will you ever go on?

A wise old yogi or spiritual devotee, however, may ponder the news and offer encouragement. These events may be considered natural progressions on life’s journey. These seemingly negative occurrences may be seen as gifts in disguise; an opportunity to turn the unexpected situation into something positive.

A constructive concept; take a negative and re-tool it into a positive.
(At the very least it’s a more productive mindset than one of self-pity.)

This morning I saw a presentation about the famous error message that we’ve all seen on websites, when you click on a link that no longer exists – the 404 Error. It’s usually something along the lines of “We’re sorry, but the page you were looking for doesn’t exist.”

The experience of landing on a 404 Error page is disappointing. You thought you were being led to the right destination, but you hit an obstacle. It is a broken relationship, a slap in the face.

Sound familiar?

I think losing your job is like having your career hit a 404 Error. “We’re sorry, but the job you thought you had no longer exists.”

 And breaking up is hitting a relationship 404.

I find the standard social reactions to these 'bumps in the road' of life lack optimism and encouragement. Hardly anyone says, upon hearing of a job loss or a divorce, “Well, this is undoubtedly an opportunity for you, a new beginning, and a time of personal renewal. Change can be uncomfortable, but the end result is always progress and that’s always positive.”

Check out this video on “404, the story of a page not found.”

In summary:
“A simple mistake can tell me what you’re not, or it can remind me why I should love you.”
It’s difficult enough to embrace change and disappointment. The next time someone gives you some “bad” news or the equivalent of a 404 error in their life, consider a more encouraging, optimistic response. Consider turning a negative into a positive.
[Author's note: This advice, too, should be the mantra of marketers everywhere.]

Here are some more examples of creative 404 error pages that make the broken link experience a bit more enjoyable.

(Photo courtesy of Can Stock Photo.)